Big slap on the wrist for me, as it’s been over 7 weeks since I wrote a pregnancy update.. I’ve just re-read my 30 week update and I am so happy to report that I have definitely turned a corner. Life at 37 weeks is much happier, joyful and relaxed now (although with Pickle’s arrival imminent, I wonder how long the relaxation will last?!).
The biggest change that has brought about such a healthier approach to this pregnancy was finishing work early. I can’t begin to describe how much of a difference that has made. Physically, I feel better! I don’t seem to have so many aches and pains (although they’ve obviously not disappeared entirely), I’m eating well, drinking plenty of fluid and quite frankly – I just look better. I’ve lost track of how many times people have said to me in the last few weeks “Wow, you look great! So much better.” I must have looked pretty run down and shocking before! And the really good news? I’ve almost mastered the art of a better nights’ pregnancy sleep (the key I’ve discovered, is using a blanket rather than a duvet… it’s made the world of difference!). I even don’t mind getting up to go to the toilet like I used to. Things have really improved.
Mentally, I feel much better prepared for Pickle’s arrival. And I feel more connected to Pickle. Now that I haven’t got a workload to worry and stress about, I’ve been better able to bond with this lovely little bundle of kicks and punches wriggling away inside. I talk to Pickle more. I sing to Pickle. Every day, Pickle becomes more and more real to me. And I can’t express how much I’m grateful for that. It’s such a relief to not beat myself up about feeling distant or worrying that I haven’t been ‘connecting’ with the baby. I’ve always been excited and looking forward to Pickle’s arrival, but previously I think that had more to do with wanting the end of pregnancy to hurry up, a kind of light at the end of what felt like a very dark claustrophobic tunnel. Now, I’m excited just to meet and welcome our baby into the family. Our little Pickle.
I also feel like we’ve hit the amazing achievement of having everything we need in order to bring Pickle home from the hospital. And a bit more, besides. Our SnuzPod is built, our nursery room is looking GORGEOUS, the car seat is already installed in the car. I’ve got everything needed for our hospital bag… although it’s not quite all packed yet (a job for today!). The pram is ready. Our family heirloom moses basket is taking pride of place downstairs and Pickle’s wardrobe is not only built, but filled with lots of gorgeous pre-washed clothes and blankets. We’ve got nappies, baby bath items, water wipes, nappy bags, a baby thermometer, muslin squares… I even bought some high factor kids suncream. We are prepared. We are ready. Now we just need to wait for Pickle to be ready too!
Pickle is the size of… a honeydew melon. And boy, is my stomach starting to look like a big round melon ball! I’ve been very lucky to have a nice neat bump (totally the opposite to what I was expecting!). Looking at it the other day, it was so perfectly round and circular that it seemed fake almost. Like I’d just shoved a basketball up my jumper. In fact, LPD constantly refers to Pickle-bump as my basketball!
I’m feeling… MUCH BETTER! I’m sure I’ll write more about my emotional journey over the last few months in more details once I’ve settled down even more. But for now I’ll say this: pregnancy is a wonderful and magical time, but it can also be really tough. And that’s okay. If your pregnancy hasn’t been a bed of roses, you’re not the only one. And feeling stressed or exhausted or drained or fed up doesn’t make you a bad mother. Be honest. Seek help. Do whatever you can to make yourself feel better. And you’ll be doing exactly what baby needs you to.
I’m craving… I want to say Mars Ice Creams, but the truth is… those aren’t pregnancy cravings. I’m just blaming pregnancy for my inexcusable consumption of them. I think one week I averaged eating about three a day. No joke. They’re just scrumptious though, aren’t they?
I’m worrying about… not very much. Which is delightful, unexpected and welcome. Yes, it’d be brilliant to know exactly when Pickle will arrive, how they will arrive and how we’ll cope in those first few weeks but you know what? I’m never going to know that until it happens. So why worry about it?
I’m missing… wine, gin, lying comfortably in bed, snuggles on the sofa that don’t require the trial and error of several different positions before finding the one that doesn’t aggravate an ache or niggle… but knowing that all of these things are becoming a very near possibility makes it so much easier.
Wow. What a relief it is to write a happier post. I’m hoping this has broken the cycle of what was quickly becoming my own very dark corner of the internet and morphing into what it should be: a place for me to celebrate maternity, motherhood and my little Pickle. 37 weeks down, only a few more to go…